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Criticise my script. Please.
As y'all might know, I've been blubbing my self-pitying eyes over my latest effort that was Rejected (yes, now it has reached such legendary status to deserve a Capital 'R'). So, sobsob, boohoo, yeah life sucks.Then a friend asked me if I did post-mortems on my work. And I sheepishly said, erm, yah, not as often as I should. And there is a point to be made. I should always try to improve. And one learns best from one's mistakes.
If only Aston Villa would heed that advice.
ANYWAY, I dug up the oldest failure I could think off. This is Girl of My Dreams. Remember my submission to the 2005 Shortcuts Short Film Writing Competition Thing? This is a failure because it didn't win nor get a commendation.
I read through it again, almost a year after I wrote it. I see places where it can be improved. But, overall, I think... well, I tell you what. I'll let you read it and then you tell me what you think.
I'm looking for comments about what doesn't work and how it could be improved. (If you want to heap praise, that's acceptable too, just remember to use ALL CAPS, make it Bold, and font size 20 or more, please.)
Comments:
Hi Dzof. Read your script and I must say.. I didn't expect the ending at all.. Hahah.. And I liked how you named the characters. I don't know if it was because you were indecisive.. but yeah.. It's nice.. definitely not something you get everyday.very off-beat. I liked it.. (:
Heh. Indeed. The reason why the names are what they are is because I used them in the original skeleton structure. And then when it came to churning it out, I just couldn't be bothered to change them.
Also, I felt that an impersonal representation of avatars within the story environment would contribute to the hyper-reality experienced by both the characters and the viewer as the story unfolded to it's ironic end.
But that came later, of course. ;)
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Also, I felt that an impersonal representation of avatars within the story environment would contribute to the hyper-reality experienced by both the characters and the viewer as the story unfolded to it's ironic end.
But that came later, of course. ;)
One of those Keep-Up-To-Date Posts
When you're pressed to update your blog by people you didn't even know read it... well, then it's time to cook up one of those bullet-pointed briefly-scribbled notes that purport to keep the world up-to-date of what you're doing.So, without further ado, here we go:
- The big news is the next Big Trip I'll hopefully be taking this year. I say 'hopefully' because I haven't officially finalised the tickets yet. Where am I going? Well, if you know me, you know already (because I just can't keep my mouth shut), but all I have to at the moment to say is: I fly out in thirty days, for a trip that will span thirty six out of thirty days, in five out of twelve cities, even though we currently have access to none of the sixty four. Got that? Stay tuned for details.
- Still on travelling, I was in Chennai a few weeks ago. Made copious notes, still haven't transcribed them. It was for work so I saw more of the inside of offices than anything else, but it still was interesting.
- Saw Gubra, liked Gubra. Even thought it was better than Sepet.
- Filming of Realiti is still going on. I went to the night that they actually performed on stage (remember, it's a fictional show about a reality tv show), and it was good. Am writing about it, will post something about it.
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