Criticise my script. Please.

As y'all might know, I've been blubbing my self-pitying eyes over my latest effort that was Rejected (yes, now it has reached such legendary status to deserve a Capital 'R'). So, sobsob, boohoo, yeah life sucks.

Then a friend asked me if I did post-mortems on my work. And I sheepishly said, erm, yah, not as often as I should. And there is a point to be made. I should always try to improve. And one learns best from one's mistakes.

If only Aston Villa would heed that advice.

ANYWAY, I dug up the oldest failure I could think off. This is Girl of My Dreams. Remember my submission to the 2005 Shortcuts Short Film Writing Competition Thing? This is a failure because it didn't win nor get a commendation.

I read through it again, almost a year after I wrote it. I see places where it can be improved. But, overall, I think... well, I tell you what. I'll let you read it and then you tell me what you think.

I'm looking for comments about what doesn't work and how it could be improved. (If you want to heap praise, that's acceptable too, just remember to use ALL CAPS, make it Bold, and font size 20 or more, please.)
posted on Tuesday, May 09, 2006 - permalink
Hi Dzof. Read your script and I must say.. I didn't expect the ending at all.. Hahah.. And I liked how you named the characters. I don't know if it was because you were indecisive.. but yeah.. It's nice.. definitely not something you get everyday.very off-beat. I liked it.. (:
Heh. Indeed. The reason why the names are what they are is because I used them in the original skeleton structure. And then when it came to churning it out, I just couldn't be bothered to change them.

Also, I felt that an impersonal representation of avatars within the story environment would contribute to the hyper-reality experienced by both the characters and the viewer as the story unfolded to it's ironic end.

But that came later, of course. ;)
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One of those Keep-Up-To-Date Posts

When you're pressed to update your blog by people you didn't even know read it... well, then it's time to cook up one of those bullet-pointed briefly-scribbled notes that purport to keep the world up-to-date of what you're doing.

So, without further ado, here we go:
Doesn't seem much, does it? Heh. Wait till next month.
posted on Monday, May 08, 2006 - permalink
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